Shedding some extra baggage...

For those of you who don't already know, I've been on a weight loss kick the last few months. I've come to accept that I had really let myself go, and after about 6 years of carrying around a lot of extra weight, I've decided I'm done being fat. Growing up, I was always thin. I never ate healthy, but I never really gained weight. In high school, I thought I was heavy, but now I realize that I just had curves in all the right places. I was never fat.

Then about 9 or 10 years ago, after experiencing something very personal and very traumatic, I slowly stopped caring so much about how I looked. I allowed myself to start packing on the pounds and to get LAZY. It didn't bother me much for the first couple years, as I didn't see dramatic changes in my body. But once I started to notice, it was out of control. At that point, I wasn't ready to acknowledge why I had allowed myself to stop caring and why I looked so bad. I became pretty depressed and stop socializing as much. I was embarrassed of how I looked. I was embarrassed that my boyfriend had a FAT girlfriend. Even though I know Eric wanted me to be healthier and to feel better about myself, he stayed with me and loved me regardless. My family and friends offered their support, and continued to love me unconditionally as well. I'm sure it's been hard on all of them to see me get to the point I was at. I'm not going to post my actual stats, but I hit my heaviest weight about 3 years ago. I HATE seeing any pics of me during that time or really any other time over the last 6 years. I was forced to wear FAT CLOTHES. I dreaded looking in the mirror each morning to get ready for the day. I dreaded trying to find something to wear. I disgusted myself. I couldn't stand to see myself naked, nor did I want Eric to see. Seeing myself in clothes wasn't much better.

That brings me to the present. Almost 3 months ago, I woke up and realized that I needed to do something, or my weight would control and define me forever. Coincidentally July was the 10 year anniversary of that traumatic event I previously mentioned. I came to a realization that I had allowed someone else to have control over me all this time, and I was done giving him my power. I was taking my power back, and I was going to make some real changes. I had to. There was no acceptable alternative. So for the last 2 1/2 months I have been on Herbalife Shapeworks products and have incorporated exercise into my daily routine. I wake up in the morning and have a protein shake and vitamins. For lunch I can pretty much eat what I want, although I try and go for foods that are high in protein. I take more vitamins with my lunch of choice. Then for dinner, I have another protein shake with my vitamins. I limit myself to 1 soda (pop, for those of you back east!) per day, and often times I don't even have that. I rarely snack, although I'll eat something little if I get hungry between meals. My exercise routine started out by walking about a mile or so each evening. I slowly started increasing my distance, but then decided I'd rather ride my bike. Eric soon decided he wanted to join in the routine, and I'm so glad he did. We really enjoy riding together each night, and it's good exercise for both of us. As we gradually increased our distance, we also took different routes to mix things up. We used to ride for about 15-20 minutes nightly, and now it's a good hour or more. We're riding anywhere from 5-8 miles every night, and I absolutely love it. I usually add some sort of exercise into the mix during the day too (I'm currently unemployed, since being laid off May 30th)...jogging, a shorter bike ride, walking, use of dumbbells and exercise ball, jumping rope, etc. I can honestly say that I feel better now than I have in so many years! I have energy, and I've lost 24.5 lbs so far!!! I've also dropped more than 2 full pant sizes. I think I'm at a plateau right now, so it's time to mix it up again, but I'm confident that I will continue to lose weight and feel good. My initial weight loss goal is 30 lbs, so I'm anxiously approaching that goal. Once I hit that number, I'll set a new goal (probably another 20 lbs) and work hard to achieve it. My biggest fear right now is what I'll do when the cold crappy Idaho weather returns. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there. In the meantime, I'm actually wearing shorts in public! I may not look like a supermodel, but I'm damn PROUD of myself, and nothing is going to change that!